Pensaments of an Anthropological Patzer

Vegan Cadishbury Creme Eggz

This recipe adapted from Food Down Under.
Be sure not to make your eggs too large, or your diners will almost surely vomit. It’s quite possible that these are even less healthy than Cadbury’s demonic creations.
Egg Filling:

1/2 c. light corn syrup
1/4 c. Earth Balance
1 t. vanilla
1/4 t. salt
3 c. powdered sugar
4 drops yellow food colouring
2 drops red food colouring

Shell:

6 oz. vegan chocolate chips (higher quality chips work better; grainy chips are disgusting; I use Ghirardelli’s vegan chips — I think they’re the double chocolate ones, but I always have to check the ingredients to make sure)
1 T. shortening (this is essential, as it makes the chocolate chip goo silky)

Beat the corn syrup, Earth Balance, vanilla, and salt together until smooth. Add the powdered sugar little by little, being sure to mix it thoroughly as you go. Split the goo into two portions, one portion approximately thrice the size of the other. The larger portion will be the egg white, and the smaller will be the yolk. Add the food colouring to the yolk and mix thoroughly. Cover both mixtures and refrigerate until firm (three hours should do).

When firm, roll the yolk into small balls, about one centimetre in diameter, leaving the white portion in your refrigerator until you’re done. Wash your hands, and then wrap large portions of egg white around these, attempting to form the white into the shape of an egg. You need to work fast, or the concoction will start to stick to your fingers. If it does, coat them with shortening. As you finish each egg, place it on a shortening-greased cookie sheet. When you finish all the eggs, return them to the refrigerator to set, again (again, three hours should suffice).

Once the filling has set, it’s time to add the shell. If you have a microwave, mix the chocolate chips and the shortening and microwave on high in one minute increments, alternating zapping and stirring until you’re done. If you don’t have a microwave, melt the shortening in a thick-bottomed pot over low heat or in a double-boiler. Add the chocolate chips, and melt down until the chocolate and the shortening are thoroughly mixed. Don’t cook longer than necessary. This mixture will stay liquid for a fair bit.

Use two spoons to dip each egg into the chocolate, coating thoroughly; then place on wax paper. Chill the eggs again for a couple hours.

The original recipe recommends giving the eggs a second coating, but I found this to be unnecessary. If you do go for that extra thick shell, you’ll need to double the amount of chocolate and fat employed.